@pink24: Yes, especially in my culture and how my family is, there is no boundaries and we are always taught to take care of parents. I guess my problem is that when I say “No”, I always end up feeling bad and end up helping them because I give in too much. Because if I don’t help them, my sister won’t do it and then my mom would cry and say things to me and I feel guilty to reject and not offer a helping hand.

@anita: Hi anita and thank you! It’s nice to talk to you again. Yes, we are still living together and still sharing the same room.

“You shared that your parents gave you a lot of attention for as long as you were the only child. But when you were 8, and your sister was born, both parents favored her over you, and “showered her with more attention and love”. You shared that the relationship between your mother and sister was “so close”, and you added: “I feel I won’t ever have that closeness and it’s killing me”.

Fast forward a year, I assume that you still share a room with your much younger sister (?), and not surprising to me: you still feel that your parents are favoring your younger sister over you, by insisting on bothering you, the un-favored older daughter, with their requests for help, so to not bother their favorite daughter, your sister. At this point, you’ve been feeling unfavored for 21 years.

Am I correct in my understanding?

Yes, that is correct. Deep down, I guess I don’t mind helping them, but I just really wish parents would be more fair and split between asking my sister and I for help. And having built up resentment with my parents makes it so hard for me to help them because I feel (especially from my dad) that the only time he talks to me is when he needs something from me. And only calling my name when he needs help. With my sister, they would talk about anything and it’s like no tension. I just feel so unheard and unseen by my parents. I literally do not have any emotional connection and closeness with any family member. And it drives me crazy that my sister doesn’t even offer to help at all. When I do ask for her to help parents, she gives me an attitude.