Anita

I was doing ok yesterday but I woke up this morning drinking coffee and sitting on the couch and impulsively called “S.”  He didn’t answer so I sent a text and never heard back.  So I called him one more time (about an hour later) and he didn’t answer again.  I don’t know if you know much about facebook but there is a message app that’s connected to facebook that tells when someone is online and he was online.

I feel like I have made a very bad mistake.  Because I blocked my number yesterday I have no idea if he responded or what he said after my text wanting to end things.  I also feel embarrassed and kind of giving an impression of being unstable.  I’m sure he knew why I was calling.  This impulsive decision was so dumb.  I ended up blocking his account on facebook, deleting any photos of us and removing his number from my phone. My hope is that I can put this behind me because in reality it isn’t that big of a deal and I’m sure he has more important things to deal with.  I don’t know if my anxiety is just saying he will not call back or maybe he is busy but deep down I do not think he will call. I have no idea and i’m tired of thinking about it honestly.

My counseling session is tomorrow and I have a lot of things to work on.

Lindsey