Anita,

I went to my counseling session this morning and when I saw my counselor Kevin I started laughing. My ex husband and I had gone to a few sessions with him for marital issues at least 4 years ago.  Neither of us remembered the sessions.  Anyway I really like him even though he is a man. (women for me tend to be more comfortable to talk to).

I woke up thinking today was going to be a great day! ….not so much.  I feel like my dog just died-that’s the closest thing I can describe what I feel.

Anyway, we discussed “S” for probably the last 20 minutes of the session.  I started to get upset because at one point he said it sounded like “S” did not want to be in the relationship anymore and I started crying really hard.  At the end we agreed that it was probably several reasons. (it shouldn’t matter to me but it does right now.)  So my next session in 2 weeks he is going to do some type of trauma test.  Obviously this is all a part of my trauma.  He mentioned that I may have rejection sensitivity and I was like absolutely.  Example is me calling “S” on the second day and he not answering-rejection.  The thought that he wasn’t interested anymore at the end of the relationship-rejection.

I said that if I don’t get a handle on this I’ll be in his office in 2 months crying about some guy that treated me bad or did something and now I’m anxiety riddled.  When the fact of the matter is I could have done way better in the first place and I ignored red flags, etc.

So at this point I’m picking up the kids in a few from summer camp until Monday morning. Plan on doing a lot.  we have 2 birthday parties coming up.  I’m also making rainbow cupcakes for my daughter’s end of the season Softball Party.

Lindsey