Dear OrangeHeart,

How can i work on not taking on people’s feelings and putting myself first? I think i might be a people pleaser, i dont know how to stop it!

Yes, you do seem to have people pleasing tendencies, and it could be caused by the fear of being rejected if you stand up for yourself. If you stand up for yourself and e.g. refuse to take your sister to a concert but choose to go with a friend of yours, what are you afraid would happen?

Ill do things he wants just so he doesn’t get upset even if its not what I want, just because its easier. When he is upset, im upset… So its easier to keep him happy so I can feel happy. Even if its not what I want to be doing!

Is this dynamic familiar to you? Perhaps your father behaved similarly towards your mother – trying not to upset her, even at his own expense?