Dear peter, while i appreciate your replay, especially you did it twice (which is something i would never do lol) i just don’t understand most of it, i like direct answers, but im gonns replay to the ones i understood.

Do you have access to talk therapy to go along with the medication assistance?

No, and im glad i don’t.

I wonder though if an intentional practice of detachment might help?

How so? If the goods doesn’t feel good, and i can’t undo the detachment, i can’t control it and only pick the good, because its not a me problem, its a manufacture problem.

What is the motivation to do things?  Life

If an animal doesn’t manufacture the right things in his brain to be healthy so he can hunt and live, he won’t live, he will survive.

Have you noticed that 95 percent of the story tends to be focused on the struggle to get to the top

I noticed that most movies have happy ending, to push this idea to people, the optimism, the toxic optimism, this is why i look for movies that speak the truth, for once. A truth similar to mine.

Its the drama of the engagement with the struggle that pulls us into the story is the struggle

Unless there is something internal that makes you not engage, something outside of your control, you can’t project your experience into others, you can’t say that you must follow this way, because its better to someone when he has a completely different life and mindset, the only right way to live is to what he think is the right way to live.

So which is it? The moment on top or the engagement that matters?

To me? None.

Is their choice here? I don’t know

I know. Its no, i can’t produce dopamine, and i can’t live without it, isn’t it funny? That i live like an animal? No feelings, no desires, just surviving, without any point or goal, just for the sake of survival, a ture to my nature, an animal.

saying Yes to Life as it is

Accept being an animal, forget about being human, forget feelings and desires and what makes life good, this is what you are saying, sure i will, a human would suicide, he would care enough to know that this is bullsh*t, that this life isn’t worth living, isn’t worth the trouble, that at least he would go with dignity.

Life does not give you meaning or purpose it is you

You can’t give purpose without a desire or motivation behind it, you simply can’t.

So, play????

And im not playing right now? Sounds like this game is decided by you not the person who should play it?

What is the motivation to do things with dopamine with and without reward?

You missed the point, anything you want to do has either a desire or a motivation, those supported by dopamine, if you lack that, other things may take place (a belief lets say or value) if you didn’t have either, what gonna makes you do something? How would you force your brain without either? You simply can’t.