Thank you for your answer anita.

It’s difficult to expose the whole situation. But I didn’t wanted to resume the relationship. She couldn’t see or feel it that way. And then being oppressed She didn’t feel forced. We were on a break and we talked, got closer, redeveloped complicity but without wanting or expecting for the moment. I was just trying to do my best to be more supportive, good person compared to before.

It’s difficult to measure all that by distance. But I am pretty sure she was interested until recently because it was we were trying to build. Problem is that I couldn’t meet her before. Without the situation, I would go around march. The break was supposed to last until that date but then border closed and it was impossible. It’s only since one month that borders reopened here and we got vaccinated.

I may blame the depression because things got worse since she had it so I don’t know how she is or her condition. But I know that from end of may, communication start to be less and less or complicity. And it coincided with the time she told me she had another depression. In middle of may she was still telling about a show we were watching by distance that we need to be there together to watch the finale. I must have feel at the moment that it could be a proposition in order I ask her to go and I missed it.

Yes exactly it’s her talking. Because beyond that, the main issue were my changes. Before in the relationship I was pretty bad. And she gave a chance to change that. Without these problems, indeed even with her depression she may have not decided that. As I was saying, everything was done and decided by distance : the break, the break-up.. Without the opportunity to see us each other or discuss about it. As I told you, last time I saw her was January 7th 2020 !! We didn’t have physically met since then.
She wanted to give me a second chance but she gave me different in the relation. So she couldn’t wait more. That’s when she took her decision.

But the essential thing would be to see me changed, not the same anymore. She may had have a little preview but by distance it’s not the same.
As reconquering an ex partner, it’s essential to look forward the future. And so far, regarding how she remember me it was difficult. It will be up to me she sees another person she can trust. I can’t offer her the past. I must show her another person. We can’t resume the relationship because indeed it has ended. I would be a new one as a new person.

When she said to let her go, I did it and left some space. It was also the same word for the break. But I believe I have my chance to see her one last time and then she sees by her self. As you said at the beginning of the thread, she need to see me as a solution and not a problem anymore. If my changes can bring her safety I may have a chance.
I also think it would deserve a last in-person meeting. We had so intense relationship and we shared some many things despite being a distance relationship. I think something can happen if I am the new person she was expecting.
I will have to take my stuff anyway. So many things are there as we were planning to be together. 80 per cent of stuff are mine and I told her 3 weeks ago it will be normal to help her to make her space because as my old behavior it was not normal to not her let space. And she thanked me for this.