Dear TeaK,

Thank you once again for ur reply.

“Yes, I don’t think it would be wise to enroll an online MBA, because it won’t do much for your independence. But in the current situation, with covid, you should be pragmatic and use the time wisely.“

= Yes, i think it’s due to me keep imagining if there’s no pandemic… i’d be abroad right now.

“Another thing –  do you think it’s possible to find a part time job in your town at the moment?“

= Nope it’s not possible as my city is in a lockdown state now…. My parents even told me not to go to the office until the situation is better… The covid situation is really that bad right now in my city… even the shopping malls are closed. That’s why i keep stressing, what will be of my future 🙂 if this situation keeps going like this…

I’ve been at home for a month, only doing physical exercise… that’s why i feel like i’m wasting my time… I can’t imagine i’m doing this routine for another year….

”This is your saboteur again. You don’t want to go down that route. You are a unique individual, with your unique path, unique goals and interests… you won’t be happy living like someone else. We’ve already discussed it, and I wouldn’t like to address that kind of thinking again, because you know why it’s faulty and that it doesn’t lead you anywhere.“

= Yeah, i’m so easily swayed whenever i saw other people’s lives…. That’s why i keep restricting myself from seeing their lives… but sometimes i accidentally saw it through social media 🙂

Your words saying that i have a unique path, goals, and interests really calms my mind…. I dont really feel like forcing myself to earn money right now… it’s just that i dont wanna be labelled as a failure.

Yesterday i tried to think of my parents view my life…. I think they give me easy task now is because i never have my own initiative to start something (create a business), also i think it’s due to that i still have a lot of years until i inherit the company (like i’ll marry someone before i inherit the company)

They even have it easy in viewing my relationship life,

My mom said to me: Why dont u try chase that girl in our company who works in the finance department… she said that i should find someone who can help me later on my finances, a wife who can support her husband in his business is really important….

They didnt know that i have this complicated mind that i find it difficult to control….and i also wanna choose my own type of partner (although i havent found it 🙂)