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Reply To: Am I codependent? I feel awful

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#384966
Anonymous
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Dear Lindsey:

Why do we do the same things over and over again if there are not positive results?“- Repetition Compulsion comes to mind, “Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats an event or its circumstances over and over again. This includes reenacting the event or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to happen again… Erik Erikson: ‘the individual unconsciously arranges for variations of an original theme which he has not learned either to overcome or to live with'” (Wikipedia)

Why do I engage with my ex knowing the outcome?“- still hoping for different results.

Why do I ignore red flags.. keep going in the same direction?“- hoping to get different results, to arrive at a different destination.

Almost like continuing to swim in a lake full of alligators“- hoping to come across a beautiful white swan that will swoop you up and fly you away from the lake of alligators

I want a resolution that’s not there. Partially because I want some type of explanation for their behavior“- you want them to explain and then do right by you. Doing right by you would be a different result and a different destination.

On the bright side it is my son’s 8th birthday today.  we are going to do something fun after school and go to dinner“- H A P P Y    B I R T  H D A Y,   L i n d s e y’ s Son!!!

anita