– I need to pause on retelling your story and ask you: can you elaborate on your relationship with M, the history of the relationship (sounds like it was very close, perhaps romantic)?

He’s been a close friend of mine for a very long time, although things have always been somewhat rocky in between us and I’ve had to fend off his possessiveness. Nevertheless we got along pretty well. There wasn’t anything romantic in between us for over a decade but there may have been something on his side during the first years, although it was never reciprocated and so it died off quickly.

-My question is: while W was abused by M, why did you not do all that you could to prevent him from abusing her, including ending all contact with M?

Oh, but I did. At first she kept objecting to me just cutting him off outright as she didn’t want me to lose a lifelong friend, so I tried to make things work. Like I said, when I saw that things were going nowhere, direct action was taken.

-Another pause to ask: how did you cut him off her, and why did you not cut him off you?

I removed him from the spheres where they could see each other and interact. I took the fight to our internal front because I myself didn’t want to lose a lifelong friend and thought that he’d come to reason. During this period we have spent some time “going back to our roots” so to say, doing together activities we used to. I thought this would help him soften up and come to terms but ultimately he just took comfort in that arrangement and being able to spend time with me again. It went nowhere in the end and so I had to cut him off.

I must say again that she kept trying to contact him even during that period, against her own judgement and my advice and always came back bruised. Likewise she contacted him again after I had cut him off as she “felt a lot of empathy towards him”. This isn’t only about our romantic relationship, she betrayed me as a close friend as well.