Dear Bianca:

Let’s try to understand this better so to get rid of the confusion, and much of the fear that is part of your confusion (I am thinking out loud as I proceed): you love your family so much, so much that you are afraid that you are lying to them about being straight…

From all that you shared and from my years long experience reading from the online vast HOCD crowd, in this website, but mostly in another website that I no longer visit, I feel confident that you are not gay.

What if you ARE lying to your family about something but it is not being straight, but about something else. Maybe lying is a strong word: maybe you are hiding something from your family and you feel guilty about hiding it? It could be something like that you feel anger at them but hide it and feel badly about feeling anger at them, or about hiding it from them… could be something else. Think about it and let me know.

anita