Dear Lindsey:

So, he did not make any positive difference in your life on the outside (your life in practical terms is just the same), but- not because he was trying to teach you or help you, or make your life better- you learned a few things as a result of interacting with him: that you can do better, that you are not ready to date, and that you have to be able to see read flags and move on.

These three things that you learned are making and can continue to make a practical difference in your life (ex. not dating before you are ready), but he does not get credit for what you learned: you do!

Seeing red flags when getting to know a man is possible when you are calm enough to see them, and not so needy and so distressed that you say to yourself something like: I so need him to like me that I am going to close my eyes and not see what I see, I am going to close my ears and not hear what I hear.. see no evil/ hear no evil.

anita