Dear Anita,

It seems very unlikely for me to be able to do either of your suggestions, but I did look into it at least to visualize better. It doesn’t hurt to learn more about what possibilities existing out there.

“If any of the above stresses you, don’t worry: no pressure whatsoever, you can ignore the above completely. At the least you may like it that I am thinking about you on my walks!”

Thank you for your cautiousness, as always it makes it really easy for me to be comfortable with you, and yes I like the idea you felt like thinking about me during your walk!

“I feel like closing this post with the word, you know.. but feeling awkward.”

Just so you know, I’ve been ready to feel and use this word in regard to you without expectations of reciprocation, so you don’t have to say it when you feel awkward or uncomfortable. I understand it is not always easy to say even when feeling it. It is alright with me, our conversation is sufficient to bring me warmth, and our connection is enough. Your pace and readiness don’t have to be rushed. And sometimes the word doesn’t even have to be written or said, when someone cares it is noticeable. The little things are powerful enough, you don’t have to overwhelm yourself with big words if it is less comfortable. I feel affection for you just as you are, no expectation or disappointment, because the foundation of this affection is the trust and appreciation we have been building during our conversations, and it is plenty enough to make me feel that way.

I might be talking too much, but I wanted you to know… Clear communication is important for me (it plays a bit role in feeling at ease), so I try. And… I guess I just get pretty rambly when it comes to all of this… This makes me worry about the possibility my rambles might make things even more unclear! Or too awkward for you. Well… if it does you can just tell me, I’ll try to be less messy.

” I hope you are sleeping well!”

Unfortunately, I didn’t, I only was able to fall asleep after 5 a.m. (or maybe 6) and I was awake at 7:30 a.m. I guess I’ll be tired today but I’ll try to catch up on that. I can only imagine how you felt when you had insomnia for long periods!

Linarra