Dear Dave,

I am glad you’ve moved to your new place and that you are happy with it. Congratulations!

I sometimes feel lonely. One of the things that worries me a little (and something I haven’t felt before), is pressure in life of having children and ‘settling’ down. Now I’m 31, even my very supportive mother jokes about things like “don’t leave it too long”.

Perhaps moving to your own house exacerbated those feelings because now you’re “settled” from that point of view, so now “naturally”, you should get married, have children and all that. Your mother is hinting at that too, although half-jokingly. There is a sort of pressure you’re feeling… You say you feel lonely, but perhaps there is also a pressure now to “get it right” next time, to meet the right woman and get settled with her? Are you feeling that kind of pressure too – to sort of not mess it up next time around, because the clock is ticking?

But what people fail to realise is, I would love to meet a life partner and have a child, but you can’t force these things.

You’re right, you can’t force it, and you shouldn’t. You can make steps to meet women, but you don’t need to have the pressure in the back of your mind that this time around, you shouldn’t mess it up.

I sometimes worry about how to meet people, I am a very socially confident person, but as a lot of people at my age, I have the same group of friends, most of which are in couples, so I don’t find myself in places with many single people, so I’m trying to work out how to open more of these doors. There is of course dating apps, but I still have some skepticism.

Perhaps you can join some groups (like a hiking club for instance), where you can meet women with similar interests?

Sorry to hear about your father falling – is he recovering now? I myself am fine, thank you very much.