Dear Tineoidea:

“Help me make sense of this“- the three characters in the story you presented are: the man Timeoidea (T), the man- friend (M), and the woman former girlfriend (W).

There is another story with 3 characters, its titled The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, a story that led to a screenplay and to a 1966 Italian film. Using this title so to make sense of your 3-character story: T is always The Good from the beginning and throughout the four pages of the story. M and W alternate between The Bad and The Ugly.

In the following quotes from your story, I will change the pronouns you used into T, M and W:

“M became jealous and angry about W ‘replacing’ M… M played a big part in tearing T&W apart, as M himself confirmed..  M always tried to monopolize T’s time/attention and highly disliked it when T spent them on somebody else… M often complained that T wasn’t giving him enough of myself… T had to erect barriers to fend off M’s possessive behavior…. there were times where M was very unstable or borderline suicidal over T.. driving at night while on substances and no intent of coming back… M himself voiced that he tried to make W break up with T… W’s been manipulated too.. it seems W’s been telling T&M two different stories or outright lying, and W been demonizing T in M’s eyes, unsurprisingly. Although T can also see that M influenced and manipulated W as well, putting W against T”-

– T has been torn between two lovers, trying to .. erect barriers. He is always The Good, never contributes to a bad situation.. always the Victim of the Bad and the Ugly. At first M was The Bad and W was The Ugly (a co-victim of M, and just a bit guilty). Later, W is The Bad and M is The Ugly.

More quotes: “W will continue to demonize and push T away due to that hatred against T (that) M’s injecting into W.. T came to the conclusion that W suffers from the Covert version of NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder).What happened with M was probably just W procuring W’s new supply beforehand by separating M from, and putting against T. Feeling candid now, T’s realized just how much W manipulated, led on and gaslit T…When W did the 180 and got in with M, W began to attack T’s whole personality and character (the same W fell madly in love with)”-

– At first W is a co-victim who’s guilty (The Ugly) and W is The Bad, a Narcissist, the most guilty. Later, W is The Bad. T is unquestionably The Good throughout.

More quotes: “The plan was for T to move to W’s country where W’s house is being built.. T’s legal and economic situations are very convoluted.. T&W had the plan B or simply marrying to get T out of this swamp..  without going into specifics…W sees M as some sort of ‘victim’ who needs to be saved…T became some sort of boogeyman in W’s eyes when it comes to M.. M constantly said that the story W told him is quite different, that T’s lying and making things up, that M trusts her and not T”, “W also went back on all her words and promises, including helping T“.

The story you told is loosely based on a true story and what is in boldface is that loose connection to the truth of the story. My best guess is that T is in some legal and financial Trouble that he created, he wanted W to help him out of his Trouble, tried to use her for that purpose. T also tried to use M for the same purpose. M and W bonded over both being co-victims (of T), and .. T is angry at both, but also very forgiving if they only apologize.. because he still needs them so to resolve his Trouble= his “very convoluted” “legal and economic situations“.

anita