Hi Anita,

Like you say, sometimes i need to vent when things are dramatic or just too much. I dont know what it is..do i complain too much, if i do, how do i handle the difficulties. I had a really tough August.  Other people have partners to talk to, people to confide in, i dont have anyone. I think my home situation is also harder because my dog is a really difficult situation, she needs 4x walks a day and constant entertainment or she goes crazy and chews everything..on top of my day job and side job its almost too much i have to try and stay on top of it all. Ive torn myself apart thinking of giving her up, she´s all i have. It just feels too hard.

Ive no idea what my mother has issues with out of the blue..i really dont…i even thought that maybe this is the beginning of dementia. A client of mine has been dealing with his wife in that situation and told me she gets very aggressive and accusatory. But it just hurts all the same, all the accusations, it reminded me of my ex…who did something very similar on a regular basis. I used to cry a lot, i dont cry at all now. Call it a safeguard not having anyone. But i saw the comparisons then between the two people, now im frightened to meet anyone new, what if they are like them? What if i can only be attracted to someone that cruel? I can´t wish hell on my mother, but i believe in karma taking its toll, i believe it will for those who cause pain.

Meanwhile and unfortunately i have a father who is very weak and will not stand up to my mother. When any conflict arose he would take her side, no matter what. We talked about therapy some years ago when she had a serious depression about her health and he did nothing. He wont go against her wishes, its a very twisted relationship and impossible to change.

My older sister, with who i have a strained relationship.. is at a safe distance in the states with her family of 3 and she keeps a very close eye on my mom, calling every day with messages. She continues to tell our parents that she wants to buy a house where we live (a second home). And has repeatedly pushed for over 10 years for money to get this.  She had a chance to move over where we are but instead met her partner, had a kid, opened a business and they are doing well. But she always wants a lot more and i think she worked out that at a distance, she can manipulate better. I always thought we had a good relationship, but since she had a child, she changed a lot and now she is overbearing to the point of obnoxious, correcting me on things in conversation, being competitive etc.

We fell out last year because she always abuses us when she stays, never has money (despite saying she is doing great) and always borrows clothes then leaves them in a mess when she goes. I think its meant to be some signal of her feelings from the past, she never talks about her feelings but i dont care anymore, its disrespectful. Now she doesnt speak to me but still tells our parents she plans to buy something here. Im not sure why she would want to be near except for the idea she might have control of any inheritance (which wont be much). i reached a limit with her behaviour, especially since she is now a mom.  I was always the one in the family, to smooth things, to take the high road. But now im waiting for her better nature ( for over a year).  To be honest..i feel my sister always resented me, she is the older child but has always felt the grass was greener for someone/anyone else, she has had a nice life.

I just feel so bitter and angry. All of these assholes giving me grief when i have always been there for them! my own family and also friends. There is something i have to change. Im tired of hearing that its the moon, or that people are just funny…NO! some people are just plain awful.. and think that you are never going to say anything or change. Im tired of people taking me for granted.