Dear Teckin:

You are welcome.

“I am looking for a relationship eventually. However, I was finding it hard to open up fully to him, so I told myself maybe it was because I was not ready for a commitment either“- it looks like you are lying to yourself (and to him): you want a committed relationship with him, he doesn’t want that, so you are fooling yourself into thinking that you don’t want what you want, and..  planning to get it eventually

“Last week he had a dream that I had an ulterior motive and fooling him into a relationship and getting what I wanted. He said he believed in a nightmare. It bothers me a bit though that he would think like that“- I think that his thinking is correct: you tell him that you are okay with being just friends, or friends-with-benefits, but you don’t mean it. You want to be his FWB as a way to get into his life eventually as a full-fledged girlfriend. Isn’t this what’s going on?

anita