Hi Anita, The idea sounds great. But in the greater scheme of things, i get no relief or results from being outgoing. My mother told me she walked out of two jobs for her pride..she had a husband by then so i guess she thought she could afford to stick her finger up in those days. If i did that today there would be no immediate sense of revenge and victory but more a sense of panic.

Hope there are other people out there who feel the same as sometimes i think im the only one working this hard and having such a hard time. I honestly today felt like really there must be something karmic about the amount of crap coming my  way. While my most fortunate colleague gets another sale, i am struggling to get anywhere and with angry clients left and right. Its unreal.

And when things get SO unreal, i start to think that someone is sabotaging me in my work. Is that probable? Im just feeling very anxious about being watched and manipulated as things come up so regularly it cant be coincidence. But if that is true, what is their problem with me? am i being punished for some racial reason, some nationalistic reason? Im really tired right now, worked through the whole weekend like the last two..this is really getting to me.