Giving up to the idea of fate, luck, chance whatever you want to call it is my kryptonite.

For me its like giving up my mind, the most thing i value, the control i think i have.

I think i understand your replay now, more then ever, it makes sense

I think that is true but is a something that you can’t ‘will’ into being , one can allow it

But where does it come from? How its gonna appear? How can i allow it?

Like you I desire to have all the info before making a choice

I have this doubt that makes it impossible to know something for sure, even if i got all the possible info, there would be still some missing info, some gusses, and depending on luck and randomness, i can’t have that, i don’t trust that, i started to feel that whatever choice im gonna make, its gonna be just as disappointing as picking it randomly.

Shame for being a something that is wrong more then shame for having done something wrong

I thought the definition of shame is that you are the wrong and not the action you did, the latter would be gulit.

I guess I still have a kind of hope. Hope that the “third force”

Did it happen yet? Did the third force got any closer? For me i can’t do that, i can relay on hope, it feels like im lying to myself, something i despise.

That the conciseness of which you experience your problems can’t be the same conciseness that solves it

But this is the only conciseness i have, “all i know, is what i know”

Zen concept of doing by not doing, the act of will which evolves the letting go of ‘will’

I don’t think i ever can surrounder the idea that i don’t have control over my life, it means i will betray myself

I have this problem, anything that doesn’t follow my beliefs and thoughts is betraying myself, i can’t do something i think is useless, i can’t talk to people while thinking its a waste of time, or i will hate myself.

we work for that which no work is required….
This is not Passive but a Active engagement that does not ‘hold on’, that lets go of “itself”, its outcomes….creating space…

I don’t think i will ever understand what this truely mean, i will always use my bais mind to understand this, to take it as an excuse to do the bare minimum, to surrounder on life, not do anything to fix anything, just live.

It takes a healthy ego to let go of ego and engage

Wouldn’t i need the latter to allow me have the first? How can i have healthy ego?

Actually Joe is the kind of Guy that panic’s when a choices is required

How can you make a choice, when you know the consequences of both choices, when you know the unnecessary suffering both might have, when you know your decision is effected by your mood and feelings of that moment, that you might have chosen differently if you had a different day, or ate a good breakfast