Dear anita,

The trouble is that I am getting old.  My looks have gone and my health is not good.  I thought that I could get free and that life would be worth living (I’m not suicidal I hasten to add), but time has really been running out.  Short of a miracle financially, I don’t see how I can get free in time to succeed at anything.

I think I have to recognise that I made the mistake of having looked to resolve things with my parents for so long, and I didn’t move forward, but I hadn’t had sufficient positive input from them to move forward, if that makes sense.    There is another reason I can’t share here for why I didn’t perceive what was happening, basically there was deception to an extent I hadn’t realised.

I’d like to send a pm because I think I could honestly say what I was thinking to you.  And I have been honest here, but its different.    I just hope that somehow something that is shared helps others move forward with their struggles, sometimes it can be difficult to see the way forward.