Dear Isabel,

you are very welcome, I am glad I could help.

Yes I was attracted and yes I did want to have sex with him, but I didn’t I stopped it, and apart from a couple of times in April when I had two indiscretions (thanks again Anita), the reason for me to stray was due to a need that I needed filling.  Yes, I did feel amazing I had a skip in my step I was buzzing at life.

It’s great you can see it as it is – because indeed it was a legitimate need (to feel appreciated and respected, and to be treated with kindness). It’s good you are aware of it, so please don’t blame yourself if you feel that need again. I imagine it would be important in the future to start demanding respect from your husband as well, however you might not be able to do it just yet.  I guess first you’d need to work on that childhood wound and start loving and valuing yourself, in order to be able to demand it from others too.

I do hope you can find a good, compassionate counselor, and slowly but surely start building up your self-esteem. Please post about your progress, or if you have any other questions or doubts.