Dear Lauren:

“Since moving, my mental health has taken a big hit and old feelings of depression and anxiety have once again become a daily battle. I struggle to feel motivated towards the job and setting up my life here…  I’m not sure if it’s the place or the job or both but it feels like my body is telling me no and my rational mind is telling me to endure, to see what could develop and try to not quit (a pattern for me). I’m not sure which to listen to“-

– The part of you that is telling you to quit the job is the part of you that wants you to run away from the job and from London (“I wonder constantly about travelling“).

This part is motivating you to run away by having you perceive the job and London in the worst possible ways (“(I) find the city very ugly and alienating“). It causes you to focus on nature as the heavenly solution (“I..  long to be in nature“).

As wonderful as nature is, if you were transported to life in nature, day after day… week after week, the anxiety will return sooner than later: that’s the nature of anxiety. It does not disappear when you change locations (or jobs), not for long.

I suggest that you weaken your desire to quit/run away. Remind yourself that there is no heavenly solution, nowhere really that is anxiety-free. Go to Green Park or Regent Park, or Hyde Park… Slowly breathe in the little nature you can take in there.  Look anew at your job and at London, try to see the good and the beauty in each.

You may decide later that the job and the city is not for you and that there are better options for you, but for now, give the job and London a chance, and please post again any time you’d like to post. I know anxiety all too well, I experienced similar times to what you are experiencing, so maybe I can provide you with some of the support that you need.

anita