Dear Peace:

You shared today that your oldest sister who, if I understand correctly, sent you abroad to study medicine, and who kept sending you money so that you become a medical doctor, has recently accused you of “disturbing and torturing… and blackmailing” your family who sacrificed for you so that you become a medical doctor, but you didn’t follow through with studying medicine. Next, she hoped that at the least, you would study physiotherapy and become a physiotherapist, but you chose to not follow through with that either. She told you that she thinks that you “didn’t achieve anything here“, suggesting that all of her/ family’s financial investment in you bore no return on investment.

“They really spent money on me …I don’t know …I should pay them back” – if you had an agreement with your sister/ family to use their money for the purpose of studying medicine, and you then chose to drop out of the program, and later, you agreed to keep using their money for the purpose of studying physiotherapy, and then you chose to drop out of the program, then indeed you should plan on paying them back, because you broke the agreement with them.

I remember that you shared that you used to repeatedly gave and sent money to a guy, a romantic interest of yours. My goodness, Peace: you gave your sister’s/ family’s money to a guy, misusing their money in this way?

You should definitely return that money to your family!

“I didn’t want to talk to my family and invite this drama, but my husband’s mom wanted to talk to my family, and so my husband wants to fulfill his mom wish of celebrating our marriage … and I talked to family and now so much disturbed… I am thinking to talk to my husband about waiting 1-1.5 years till I complete my studies and talk to them again … because I feel like I dragged my husband into this all mess…and I feel sorry for him” –

– like I wrote, if you used your sister’s/ family’s money for purposes other than what you agreed on, then you should return all that money to them. If you can’t do it now, then do so after you graduate the program that you chose to pursue when you are gainfully employed.

As far as your husband goes, I am not clear: (1) are the two of you living together as husband and wife? (2) is he gainfully employed?

anita