Dear Anonymous:

For the most part, I smiled as you read your message to the girl who broke your heart. So much love, the real thing, I thought to myself. Sure, you never met her (if I understand correctly), you never really knew her, but you loved her, nonetheless.

This sentence was most meaningful to me: “I wanted so bad to take away all your pain and see you smile“. This is what love is about, the real thing. But then, love turned into anger, and in your anger, you tried to cause her pain: “All I got from you was ‘sorry’. I was so heartbroken and mad. I was devastated and I wrote you things I probably should not“.

She told you that she had a boyfriend, and you got angry. Before, you wanted to take away all her pain and see her smile. But when you found out she was smiling with another guy, you no longer wanted to take away all her pain, instead, you wanted to give her pain.

Your reaction to finding out that she had a boyfriend was all too common. I don’t know of anyone who was happy for a romantic interest to be choosing someone else. I don’t know if it is possible for romantic love to be unconditional: to be happy for the person no matter who they choose. Do you think that it is possible?

anita