Im not sure i know what you’re talking about when it comes to anger. In general people describe me as being easy going and mellow. It has been some years since i remember expressing anger towards a woman, of the 3 times i recall all three involved me being lied to. I do have anger outbursts when i’m alone, i’ll scream most of the time sometimes hit something, never would i ever hurt anyone else though.
What I find most disruptive to finding close relationships now is my lack of self-worth. I don’t see myself as someone who people would want to be friends with, i don’t understand what value i could bring to any relationship other than being a provider. I’m not fun to be around anymore, i’ve lost most of my playfulness about life. Everything has felt so heavy and serious for so long, i’m losing hope for the future. I continue to live out of obligation to prevent spreading pain to others. I feel tired, pathetic, worthless, unlovable, you name it. Therefore, I don’t reach out to people, and recently over the past few weeks have grown generally unresponsive and avoidant of other people.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 