Dear Ryan,

sorry for a late reply, I have been busy and had less time for Tiny Buddha.

I am glad you’ve arrived safely to your new destination. How did the appointment at the mental health clinic go?

The woman I left behind is dealing with the aftermath of my departure as best she could. She laments that should never have pushed for more knowing I was leaving and couldn’t offer more due to circumstances, to wishing I had not wasted her time believing we’d have a future. I tried to explain that I need to focus solely on myself and deal with the “emotional neglect” and difficulty forming attachments, and while she tried to be understanding, she is upset–to say the least. She regrets “every stupid day.” It’s hard to explain my feelings when love and emotions are involved, but she does not want to speak to me ever again.

Her reaction is quite normal – she is hurt and blaming both herself and you. She has the right to not want to speak with you again, so respect that…

I cannot do this to another woman, so I know that I must get help.

Well, yes, it’s good that you are aware of the pattern, so maybe next time you are attracted to someone (or they to you), you don’t rush into the relationship immediately. Try to be aware of your true needs (based on our conversation, one of your needs is not to feel lonely; another is to share your deepest thoughts and feelings with another person), and see how you can meet those needs without necessarily engaging in a romantic relationship.

I did enroll at a local gym here and signed up for a Meetup account. With any luck, I can make some friends soon…and be open with them.

Sounds good! Have you made some contacts already?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Tee.