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Reply To: Am I codependent? I feel awful

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lindsey
Participant

Anita,

Yes I feel things intensely I agree. Mostly likely anxiety and abandonment triggers.  I really was not able to calm down but I did speak with Jason about an hour ago.  He stated “This has been on my mind.  Do I trust you? You are making it hard.”  So at that point I thought ok this guy is breaking up with me and I’m about to freak out.  I called him (asking first) and we spoke.  Some of it was reassurance from me and I stated at this point I was not going to  have a friendship with Chance.  This is more of a casual friendship anyway and our relationship was more important.  He said that I did not have to do that about Chance but I do.  I am not going to set myself up for another text or situation again.  At the end of the conversation he stated we would talk on Friday after work when I came over.  By the end of the conversation I feel like I had reassured him a bit about the situation and things in general.  His 2 requirements when we started a relationship were no cheating and no lying.

You are right about the vulgar language stated above.  In the past I ignored Chance’s language but I have spoken to him less since I started dating Jason.  I’ve never had a male friend that texted like that.  I just didn’t think until now about setting up boundaries or that really it was that big of a deal.

This morning:

Lindsey: Stop saying some of the gross things you text me.

Chance: I always talk to you like that

Lindsey: yes and it’s gross and you need to stop

Chance: You’ve been weird the last month

Lindsey: You just get too vulgar sometimes.