Anita I am sorry I did not reply before now . My daughter got covid and was quite sick . She is on the mend now . I also had a slight injury but recovered .

i am doing ok.  I told my friend I didn’t want to correspond with him for a while as he said he was taking his wife away for Easter. Yep he still gets under my skin .   Anyway of course I felt bad then for thinking I hurt his feelings so I messaged him after a few days but it gave me thinking time.   So I am in just casual correspondence now . He is away with his wife’s and we are just sending an odd email .  For aesthetic family reasons it’s best we keep a minimal contact otherwise it could cause awkward questions . He asked me would I like to go and stay with them for a weekend ( he does know I am lonely and helped me with stuff ) and I said seriously you expect me to go stay with you and see you and your wife together .  I declined and said it is very likely that even though we share an odd correspondence it is very unlikely we will meet again  unless it’s a funeral or something both of us need to attend .

I have decided to not let it bother me anymore to the extent I am overeating and wasting my time being miserable while he is off having fun .

I had a lovely day yesterday invited guests around . Today I am going shopping for groceries ( ugh lol ) and out tonight with my sister my husband and her husband. I am making a real effort to live my life . I joined my fitness pal and most days I am sticking to my calories and enjoying it . I lost a few lbs . I walk my dog daily and I am working pretty hard . Also inlaws need some caring .

i am angry at him mostly for allowing me to believe that I was important and a priority when all I really was going to be was an add on to excite him. He is happy go lucky . It never seem to bother him I pulled the plug nor that I wanted to not message any more . I actually think even though he told me he loved me and cared for me and worried about me it’s only when he had nothing else to think about .  It was all in the hope for perhaps exciting times .  I’m not that person .

thanks for letting me share here .  And sorry for late reply Anita . Bless you