Thank you for the reply Helcat!!!
I really think I would enjoy meeting new people, I just have to figure out how to overcome my anxiety. I raise cows a and show them occasionally! There are plenty of local clubs to join that revolve around that but I just can’t help thinking that I’ll just mess up or be too awkward to meet anyone. Yes you are correct, I only have contact with people at work, and my family. However I mostly work alone. My family dynamic is interesting… My parents are together but my dad works so much he’s only here early morning and late night. my hours for school and work are the same times he is home so I don’t see him much. My mom  carries the emotional load raising my sister and working full time (12) . I used to lean on her , but I’ve tried to emotionally disconnect from her because it’s really started to affect her. My dad and I were really close growing up and now we hardly talk. Im very sensitive and take things personally and he’s very direct and blunt. He often hurts my feelings (One time  he told me to shut up because he wasn’t interested to hear the garbage coming out of my mouth) and when I try to tell him that it hurt my feelings he just calls me moody or sensitive. My mom also thinks im too sensitive and moody but she understands me a bit better than my dad.  they both are trying really hard but just don’t understand. I try to avoid the dynamic because whenever I’m yelled at, told to go away, told im sensitive or moody- honestly when im given really any sort of criticism to my character or personality – I cry. it’s embarrassing. My parents often say things that make it seem like I’ll never find anyone who understands me. They’ll Say things like “that’s how people are” “the world is selfish” etc. which makes me really nervous that if I do make a friend or something they will just reject them instantly. I used to be friends when I was young with a group of girls that hated men for no particular reason- which made me uncomfortable. I’m not into hating groups of people just because one person did something or because of rumors. I like to think myself quite accepting and loving towards everyone. Thank you for the advice. I’ll look into that website!