Hi Berta!

Your difficulties after that experience sound distressing. It’s difficult to discuss without more information. Your English is very good though!

It’s good that you sought a therapist though perfectly okay if you feel things aren’t working out. It sounds like you’re doing your best to take care of yourself through this unique situation.

Personally, I’ve seen many people have difficulties arise with spiritual practices. It can be tricky to work through things on your own. It is often helpful to work with an experienced practitioner who can guide you through any difficulties.

Are you in a country where you have access to traditional Chinese medicine? I’ve found practitioners of this system quite helpful myself.

The only other thing I can recommend is relaxing. Yoga is excellent for this, but whatever works best for you would be great too. It might not sound like much, but it sounds like the experiences you are having are quite distressing. Stabilising your mood via a repeated effort to relax could be helpful. I hope you taking care of yourself in other ways like eating regularly and exercise? Both of which also help with mood. I hope that these difficulties ease soon!