July 5, 2022 at 10:00 pm #403496BertaParticipant
Hi, everyone! I’m not a native English speaker, so my apologies if this will sound wierd.
After intense spiritual experience I become stuck in an isolation and emotional dumbness. I try to do practice but this state becomes even worse. However, without a practice I feel totally lost, because I don’t have any attachment to this world or anyone in it. It feels like I play a role that I’m alive, that I work and have some activity, but the only feeling I have is this isolation and guilt that I feel nothing to anyone, even to my parents and siblings. And this isolation leads to anger and helplessness. I tried psychotherapy but I don’t feel that a psychotherapist can understand me. However, I’m not sure if I need to be cured or just try to forget and let go of this unpleasant state.July 6, 2022 at 7:33 am #403521AnonymousGuest
“After intense spiritual experience” – the intense spiritual experience was also an intense emotional experience, wasn’t it?
If during the intense emotional experience you became overwhelmed, meaning you felt too much, it makes sense that your brain would do a shut-down of sorts, and as a result, you “feel nothing to anyone“. It is similar to what happens when an electric circuit, which is designed to handle a limited amount of electricity, is overloaded with electricity (too much electricity is introduced to it)- it shuts down: no more electricity.
Simplified: if your brain, which is designed to handle a limited amount of emotion, is overloaded with too much emotion, it… shuts down, like an electric circuit.
I would like to reply to you again, but first I need to know if what I wrote so far makes sense to you. Does it?
anitaJuly 6, 2022 at 8:46 am #403524PeterParticipant
Which practices you engaged with?
Before one practices, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.
We are not meant to live on top of mountains. Thus all spiritual experience and practice must incorporate the return. The return to Life as it is. In my opinion that is something most traditions don’t do well. My Experience with Buddhism is that the challenge of the return involves the practice of detachment. Healthy detachment, healthy boundaries where one accepts things as they all while remaining fully engaged in life .
From your post it sounds like you have fallen into the trap of Indifference. Its a fine line between detachment and Indifference. One of my observations with the Buddhist practice is it often involves a loss of energy to engage. The unskillful detachment from ego, goals, relationships, identity, hope… leading to indifference. If I am not my ego, my experiences, my emotions, my memory why engage, what’s the point = loss of energy.
Sitting by a calm lake in meditation and or contemplation nothing touches us and we think what bliss. Then life interrupts, we need to eat, relive ourselves, work, the stuff of life, everything touches us. The goal of the practice is to take the experience of the lake with us as we engage fully in the stuff.
We return from the mountain/lake and see for the first time. Nothing has changed, everything has changed.July 8, 2022 at 9:36 am #403573AnonymousGuest
How are you, Berta? I hope to read more from you.
anitaJuly 8, 2022 at 2:32 pm #403693HelcatParticipant
Your difficulties after that experience sound distressing. It’s difficult to discuss without more information. Your English is very good though!
It’s good that you sought a therapist though perfectly okay if you feel things aren’t working out. It sounds like you’re doing your best to take care of yourself through this unique situation.
Personally, I’ve seen many people have difficulties arise with spiritual practices. It can be tricky to work through things on your own. It is often helpful to work with an experienced practitioner who can guide you through any difficulties.
Are you in a country where you have access to traditional Chinese medicine? I’ve found practitioners of this system quite helpful myself.
The only other thing I can recommend is relaxing. Yoga is excellent for this, but whatever works best for you would be great too. It might not sound like much, but it sounds like the experiences you are having are quite distressing. Stabilising your mood via a repeated effort to relax could be helpful. I hope you taking care of yourself in other ways like eating regularly and exercise? Both of which also help with mood. I hope that these difficulties ease soon!July 8, 2022 at 2:38 pm #403694HelcatParticipant
On the plus side, you mentioned that you feel guilt for feeling nothing towards your parents and siblings. This suggests to me that you do care, despite the experiences that you are currently having. Perhaps things will become more balanced in time?
Do you think these feelings of isolation are related to feeling like other people don’t understand you? Could you explain a little more about the isolation?