Dear Sun:

“(I was) always scared of entering a relationship with a girl… I have never trusted a girl in my life“- the good news as far as what concerns you, is that you never dated a girl not because you are gay but because you never trusted a girl and therefore you were always scared of entering a relationship with a girl.

“There are others things I am afraid to talk about to (aunts, granny, mother) which I needed the support of male to guide me which I did not have“- you needed a man (a father) to guide you about how to become a man. As a result of the absence of such guidance, you feel “less than a man”, if I understand correctly.

I imagine that you have had questions in regard to courtship and sexual behaviors that you needed to ask a fatherly figure, questions that women wouldn’t know, or questions that you would be too embarrassed to ask an aunt…  or worse, a granny! Since you are in this thread anonymously, you can ask me a question. I assure you that I will answer you thoroughly (following a research if needed) with outmost sensitivity and respect. Maybe there is a question that bothers you so much, one you never got an answer for… and maybe, just maybe I can help.

“Growing up until now I have never stayed with my mother ,me and her separated when I was 6 years old because she got married to my step father“- did you ever feel hurt about your mother perhaps choosing another man (her husband) over you? I wonder if this makes you feel like a lesser man, as in a lesser man than your step father?

I know that these questions are difficult and I don’t expect you to answer them. I definitely don’t want you to feel terribly uncomfortable trying to answer them. So if you don’t answer, it’s okay with me. I am asking because maybe I can be of some help to you, however small.

anita