Dear Anita,

I’m very sure the haircut was intentional.  This would be  another example to her stepping over a boundary and being disrepectful to myself and Ella. She would not appreciate me taking her son Brayden to get his haircut and make drastic changes without checking with me first.  I am unsure how to address the situation.

I have also AGAIN been reactive with my ex. Basically I am being borderline abusive verbally.  I’ve got to make the proper changes I need to make but it is extremely hard b/c my improvements are not consistent.  Here is an example of how I feel. My punishment is making the wrong life decision .

“The Greek myth that is associated with the punishment of rolling a stone uphill is the myth of Sisyphus, originally told by the Greek poet Homer.  The story of Sisyphus and his punishment of having to endlessly roll a boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down again, has become an analogy for the endless toil of modern life.”

So about the body image.  I would say that it started while I was a teenager. I believe it was a combination of needing control over something in my life and also being insecure about myself and my body.  Back in the 90’s it was very different- this generation supports women of all sizes and celebrates differences.  So as the years went by I would overeat, binge, not eat- there would be cycles.  Eventually for the most part I stopped with the behaviors.  Now I am just uncomfortable in my own skin.  Body dysmorphia? I do not see in the mirror what other people see.  After having my son and seeing negative changes in my body things have declined.  I do not take off my clothes with the lights on with Jason.  I’m not comfortable with him seeing anything.

Lindsey