I know and I do absolutely appreciate the good things and I am thankful for absolutely everything I have. I am just so tired of being alone, being lonely, and being single that it’s affecting my mental health. You cannot begin to imagine this feeling and I wouldn’t want to wish it up on anyone. There is only so much self compassion, coping, and other techniques can do for you, but at the end of the day being single (while being mostly alone) for the last 5 years, is just overwhelming. I am not complaining about my life in terms of poor poor me or comparing my life to others, I am just desperately tired of being alone and single. When I get my haircut, for example, when she goes through my hair, it’s orgasmic (not in a sexual sense). I just miss closeness, intimacy, and friendship of having a life partner. I miss sharing my life with another human being. I am in therapy and it has helped me in many other aspects of my life, but this one subject of loneliness, well nothing has helped. Literally nothing. Just going to have to continue doing what I am doing and keep busy. Again, thanks for your words