@helcat,

thank you so much for writing back. i’m sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time in your own life. i’m here to lend an ear if you ever want to talk.

these past few days have been really good for me. i’m eating and sleeping normally and spending time with my boyfriend feels great. it’s comforting to me too to know this will pass with time.

the first time i ever experienced rumination and punishment with my mistakes was when i was in high school. i was dating a boy my parents disapproved and our relationship became strained as a result. i felt i couldn’t be truly happy so i began ruminating on what i felt must’ve been a “mistake.” i eventually broke up with him to please them. a few years later, we got back together though and then broke up naturally.

in the mornings and evenings now, i try to watch some tv for myself and clear my head. i try to stay off the internet and just get lost in whatever i’m doing.

thank you so much for all your kind words and thoughts. i reread them when i start feeling bad sometimes and they really help. i wish you all the best and hope you feel better soon 🙏🏻