Hi Madina

I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with these anxious thoughts about your sexual orientation and that you have had difficulties with abusive relationships.

You mentioned that you experimented with your sexuality when you were younger. To me this means that perhaps your sexuality has remained similar. Since things are similar, I don’t expect you to suddenly become attracted to your female friends. You would probably have experienced those feelings already.

There is another possibility… Perhaps you are attracted to both men and women? What do you think?

It is understandable that you feel reluctant to date men considering the difficulties you have experienced with heterosexual relationships.

It sounds like you are in a state of high anxiety. During this period it is important to take care of needs that balance emotions. Eating, sleeping (even if you need sleeping pills or supplements) . It is important to self-soothe and do activities that you find relaxing. What are some activities that you find relaxing? I would suggest catching up with your friends or family too.

I wonder, what kind of traits you value in a partner?