Hi Anita. Thank you so much for replying.

By ‘People like me’ it means people like me that are questioning their sexuality or think they are and actually have OCD. I for some reason believe that I will end up actually telling people that I’m bi, the thought of that terrifies me because I know deep down that that’s not true. I think I might have SOOCD but I’m not sure and don’t know how to get rid of it. I don’t think being on the outside of friendship groups is the reason I’m having these thoughts I think it’s because most of the people in them are able to talk to boys and the way my brain comprehends the fact I don’t have a boyfriend is to tell me that I’m bi. I don’t think that being bi or a lesbian is unacceptable and I’ve always supported the community and I’m really sorry if what I said before came across as homophobic, I don’t have a problem with any of that or people who identify as this especially as some friends of mine have come out as part of the community. So maybe this is part of the reason why I’m questioning myself? I just think that for me as myself, I could never be bi because that’s just not who I am and thought thought of me being part of it gives me anxiety because I’m not attracted to girls. The reason I think I have SOOCD or HOCD or just normal OCD is because I can’t stop thinking that I’m bi. These thoughts weren’t triggered by liking a girl or anything they just came on suddenly a few weeks ago and they are really worrying me. I’ve never had this before and I feel like I’ve wasted so much time over it I just need someone to tel me how to stop them. Sometimes the thoughts that could be bi make me cry and wake up either having a panic attack or just filled with anxiety, feeling sick and heart palpitations. I think the part about me in the mirror from my previous post is just a part of these horrible thoughts.

I have never had any reason and still don’t have a reason to believe I’m bi/gay but I keep having these thoughts. Some examples of them include: (bear with me some of these are way in the future and I don’t know where they come from) me not having a happy marriage with a man because I’m secretly bi and if I’m watching TV with a newly married man and wife my mind tells me I’ll never have that because of these thoughts. Other thoughts include things like me having a girlfriend (these thoughts don’t actually feel real like that could happen or anything, they just feel like they are there to scare me for some reason) which makes me extremely uncomfortable and I’ve never had this happen before now. I really really don’t want a girlfriend so I have no idea why I’m having these thoughts. However, when I think of myself with a boyfriend or imagine myself with a male character from Netflix that makes me feel excited and want to have a future with him even though he’s obviously on Netflix so it wouldn’t be him specifically but it still makes me feel happy and like I’m normal or ‘cured’ of the other thoughts.

My point being that the thoughts give me so much anxiety and I don’t know why I’m having them. But when I think about being with a boy I can actually imagine it in real life.

Do you think I have OCD? I think I’m definitely overthinking but I don’t know how to stop it.

Could you give me some ways to help get rid of these thoughts?

Thanks, Olivia