Dear Madina:

“I’ve always dreamed about love and relationships“- I used to day dream a whole lot, when I was a teenager, maybe when I was in my early 20s as well. Mostly, I day dreamed about a love story, a love story happening to me. I remember lying down comfortably after school, listening to music and imagining so much happening, so much love and excitement (none happened in real-life). I experienced a lot of joy during those imaginings.

More than a decade later, still alone and lonely, I finally gave up on the idea that anything like what I imagined (or anything remotely close to it) was going to happen for me. A few years after giving up, I finally had my love story. Of course, it wasn’t and couldn’t be like what I imagined (it is so easy to imagine anything and everything, including impossible things… like flying across the sky like a bird).

“I just don’t see myself having relationship with a man..  I feel fine without it“- I submitted a post to another member 30 minutes ago about Radical Acceptance and how this attitude can help. If you radically give up (give up completely, all the way) on your desire to have a loving relationship, it is more likely to happen. The reason: when you give up on a desire, you free yourself from excess stress and anxiety and in doing so, you avail yourself to emotional resources you didn’t know that you had.

I hope that you will let me know if this is making sense to you, so that we can talk about it further.

anita