Hi Eric!

This is your thread, you can feel free to post however many times you wish.

Regarding jealousy, you have a habit of frequently judging and criticising yourself. It will take some time and hard work to practice restraining yourself from criticising yourself.

This will happen more naturally as you reduce your anxiety levels and develop your confidence. But you also need to acknowledge that this is a bad habit that causes you a lot of stress and commit to it being something that you no longer want to do.

If it happens, it is an accident. Try your best not to worry. Just notice it happening. Notice how it makes you feel. Understand that it is the act of judging yourself that is making you feel thatway and let it pass.

There is also something else… From my experience there are reasons that prolonge bouts of depression and anxiety. Reasons why we behave the way that we behave. For me, it was a form of avoidance. It kept me safe from the scary outside world. At the same time it prevented me from living my life and made me unhappy.

I also got sympathy from people. Being comforted and reassured made me feel better. But what I learned is that rather than wait for an emotional episode, I could simply ask and seek comfort before I am emotionally desperate for it.

Limiting social media use might be a good idea for you? People tend to show what they want others to see, not how things really are. Everyone has difficulties in life as an adult. No one has a perfect life.

I think a good quality you have is that you are open to listening and eager to learn.

I understand what it is like to have a slow brain. I have a learning disability that leads to slow processing and various other issues. Reducing anxiety is going to be your best friend. The more anxious you are the easier it is to make mistakes and the more difficult it is to process.

I disagree, I think you have lots of good ideas. Going to the gym was a great idea. You will minimise any superficial judgement about your height by going to the gym, being fit, strong and healthy. People will focus instead on how fit and strong you are.

It’s great to hear that you have been developing other skills and trying new things. Learning to ride a bike as an adult is very brave. My husband doesn’t know how to ride a bike and is afraid to try. I enjoy riding my bike, it would be nice to cycle together one day.

I think you have a lot of good ideas about developing skills in activities that interest you. You are very brave taking these steps to develop yourself as a person. I bet you never thought you would be described as brave. But bravery is courage in the face of fear, not an absence of fear.

I also think that you write well and I am a literacy tutor.

Realistically, things will be scary when you aren’t comfortable with them. But as you practice and gain confidence in your new skills you will become more comfortable.

I think the following are some things that many people look for in a long term partner:

Physically healthy

Mentally stable (it is important that mental health conditions are well managed)

Kind

Responsible with finances

Willing to share cooking / cleaning / childcare responsibilities

Likes and wants children (if a family is desired)