Hi Anita, I hope you’re great and having a nice day.

I realized something and I wanted to write it here. I felt a bit bad about something he said this morning, and then I reacted calmly. I said it was rude, and he replied by “it shouldn’t be rude?”, I resisted. The way you’re saying it is rude, maybe you should’ve expressed it in a different way. Then I stopped talking, waited a bit and then prepared myself, my stuff to be ready to go to my house leaving him at his home.

This was not “old me”. I used to accept that “it shouldn’t be rude.” and ignore my feelings in a way so that the communication would go smooth. I wouldn’t react, reacting to something was never my thing. The only reaction from me I remember was crying or being really sad when the person did something or said something upsetting to me. I thought about what I’ve done in the past, but maybe I was willing to leave him there alone, and go away with my slightly upset mind and wait for him to correct the mistake, even if there was not a mistake. I wanted him to put it together, behave better. He didn’t do anything bad though, but I was feeling a bit neglected.

I am now realizing that all I did in the past was giving every chance I can to the person in my life to correct their mistakes. I just try harder than them, for them to correct anything. Because I know that everything can be resolved if someone wants enough, and I put so much effort into giving the chances, the time and the understanding. But this have never worked in the past, maybe it has given me more time with the person but in the end, it resolved badly, as you know. I guess as I started to work on myself, I’m learning so much.

When I was preparing my bag, he saw it. He saw that I was getting prepared to go out, leave him maybe. He also started to put on some clean clothes and asked me if we can go out and have a coffee. He has spent hours and hours with me afterwards and then he left to see his sister. I don’t know if this is right. I am not sure if he felt guilty and did this because of it, or if he really wanted to spend time with me. I guess it’s best if we can just miss each other for a bit so I’ll give him some space.

As for your wise replies, you’ve replied to my double-slit experiment ideas in such a rational way. I guess I expected a more spiritual approach from you but I don’t have any idea how you think about those stuff at all.

Key is to FIT our thinking to reality so that there is a match. The greater the fit between my thinking and reality, the better my mental health and the better I affect other people/ shape their reality and mine. Thing to remember though is that another person with a poor fit (between his/ her thinking  and reality) may perceive me not in the way that I am and therefore be affected not by me, but by his/ her distorted view of me.

Yes, this made it very clear. Although I try to think better than my reality, which I might’ve failed to do so but I’m hoping that it’ll have an effect.