Hi Eric

I do think that you have made some progress in 3 years. I was a lurker for a while before I started posting. You have established some good habits that relieve anxiety by going to the gym. You are having short conversations with people. You are open to learning new skills. But is it enough? Could you have made more progress with a professional over the past 3 years?

Your current issue fantasising about a relationship with the mooncake girl. Realistically, this is unlikely to happen. To establish a relationship you will need to actively communicate with many women. Currently, you aren’t there yet. You are avoiding tackling your severe social anxiety. Like you hypothesised in a previous post. You will need to do what you did in university. Force yourself to interact with people and learn to manage the associated discomfort.

I agree with Anita in that you need quality professional support. The level of self-abuse you display is extremely concerning. You ignore the issues with this, claiming that it helps you learn. Has it ever honestly helped? Beliefs such as this one are holding you back.

I think that everyone needs help to deal with tough issues and you are dealing with some really tough issues. Neither of us are asking you to do something that we haven’t done ourselves. Everyone here is rooting for you Eric. If you begin to see a therapist, this would indicate some significant growth.

For me, I had an adult therapist for 3 years. I went from a total recluse after being raped (I was literally terrified of all men and didn’t venture outdoors and cut all contact with friends) to meeting my husband, having a job, returning to studying, engaging with people. This is the level of change the support of a talented professional can create in 3 years. Realistically, some of these changes happened after therapy ended, but I continued to practice the skills she taught me and she set me on this path. It has been 7 years since I started working with her.