Home→Forums→Relationships→Going through a separation→Reply To: Going through a separation
I would agree that there was a lack of communication. As for me not being there to help in challenging times that is incorrect. I was always there to help her and I did, I did a lot to help with anything and she knew that. She even said that she felt like she was using me as I was always willing to help. When we got back together for a few weeks but then she said she needed space I asked her why. She told me that she needed to gather herself a bit as I think the feelings my have started becoming a bit too intense for her. I said that’s fine and she said it was hard to tell me that because I am always there to help and that I’m always nice. So that theory is a bit of a stretch, but I do understand what you’re saying and there could be a sliver of truth to it. Her mom did move out at the end of January however she did move back in in June and that’s when we stopped seeing one another again.
The father wasn’t overly abusive however I know he didn’t really step up as a father. He didn’t pay child support and my wife didn’t ask for it. I provided more for the kids than he did. In fact, with the settlement of the house happened, the only reason I didn’t take 50% of what I was entitled to is simply because of the kids. I took them in to full consideration.
As for my needs. Again it’s hard for me to say exactly what. I would often want to go on a mini vacation as we really didn’t have a honeymoon and she wouldn’t want to go. I also feel closet with her through physical touch. At some point that wasnt being reciprocated. I’m not just talking about sex but just any kind of physical affection. Anyhow, I may have wanted that too much and I think sometimes for her being more of a dismissive avoidant style of attachment this wasn’t always easy for her to do.