Dear marie:

I was in a rush when I posted the above. In your last post, you asked: “I feel like I have to be the one to do the work to get the friends back. Where do I start?“- my answer: depends on the history of your communication with your friends since you returned from your time away, depending on who you talked with and what was said, if there were there arguments. accusations, etc.

Key is that you express your feelings honestly while taking responsibility for your feelings (feeling wronged does not necessarily mean that one was really wronged, what you feel does not necessarily indicate objective reality); do not accuse anyone of anything that  they are not responsible for (ex. betrayal, as I see it);  listen and consider what they say;  display an attitude and choose words that encourage peaceful communication and discourage arguments; care more about getting along than about being Right about every single thing.

anita