@Tee

I wish I could pm you to talk more openly but yes I think those reasons make a lot of sense. She had said a few times prior to the separation that she thought the kids were too young and I agree that we moved quickly into everything. I wish now we hadn’t moved so quickly. My gut tells me that it’s not because she doesn’t love me anymore and that’s not me in denial, it’s something I as and sure you know that you can sense.
When I asked for a mini vacation it was to have just a small honeymoon which we didn’t really have so the idea was to go on the weekends when the kids were away. And I look back now and see that maybe I should have suggested bringing the kids. I know kids can sense these things and although it wasn’t my intent at all to make them feel excluded, I can see how that may have happened. I feel terrible for that.  And when I look back while we were seeing one another after the separation, she told me that the kids came back home crying because they knew I was over. She told them that she was allowed to see me while they were away but maybe it was just too much.  I feel so bad as I love the kids, but I’m not their dad and I can see how negative thoughts or beliefs can arise. Thank you Tee for your insight. It does help me to try and understand things a bit better.

I get really down on myself thinking what more could have I done?  I’m stuck ruminating a lot wishing things weren’t the way they are. I’m really trying to move on and let the universe play out as it will but it’s still very hard. And our anniversary is in a couple of days too 🙁