Dear Julia,

for me, addiction was a way to soothe the pain of not being good enough. You said:

But I thought about what brings me to starting going down the path again and again and like you described it probably falls back to anxiety – of being alone (with my thoughts?).

What are those thoughts? Do you have a harsh inner critic, telling you how bad or inadequate you are? Maybe your inner dialogue is quite painful, and that’s why you need to distract yourself from it?