Good morning, Anita.

I was meditating last night ~ early morning.  As I said before, I could not sleep well anyway.
A little better but there is nasty anger, hate feeling in my heart.

I was thinking about one of my best friend, who passed away with COVID.  We worked together for long years and he went to differnt company and overseas but we were remain friend.  We did not talk every month but he was there for me always.
I was talking to him last night (in my head).  If I tell this story to him, what he may say to me?
I’m sure he said I told you!  He didn’t care or did not like my ex.  I guess my ex is okay as friend but not for my partner.  I should listen my friend.

I called my uncle who live in overseas (I did not tell full story but partial of it) and he said If my dad is here (he past away 12 years ago), he would say do not need these (vinyl), forget about it.
He would say most of materials you can buy if you have money but i canot buy you from anywhere.  You are taking your responsibility of your part and let it go.
I also decided to change my phone number.  My uncle said give him a few month, which I did not like to wait for a few months but he said a great time to start your new life with new phone number as of 1/1 2023.  So, I will change my phone number as of 1/1/2023.  Even though he contact me before, I will change my number.  I did not want to change my phone number because, I have to contact all my bank, utility company, clinic, etc.  But if I do, no one able to contact me except I give my new number (which my co-worker and several my out of state friends).

I need to practice how to remove this nastiy anger, hated feeling from me.
I won’t but I wanted to revenge (not sure how I can revenge him) and/or hurt him (which is again, he won’t hurt by me).

Forgivness…. how and why?