Dear Eric:

“‘she is indeed a gem‘= yes, that’s why I can’t bear it if she decided to leave or detach from me“- is the solution to pursue a non-gem, perhaps an angry young woman who will criticize you and insult you.. so that you will be able to bear it if she decides to leave you-

Or is it better that you bear the thought (that she will leave you) and hope for the best?

“‘I can imagine a young woman will be interested in a man who thinks she is a gem and who will do anything to make her happy‘= I’ve done this with my previous crushes, but they still leave me. I did my best at that time, but it doesn’t make them stay“- well, you didn’t go on dates with the other crushes, it’s a big difference! But you are right: there is no guarantee that she will stay with you, that’s why you have to be able to bear the thought that she may not.

“‘..you are doing fine!‘ = so right now, I shouldn’t be focusing on ‘what if the relationship gets bored’? Just focus on what I’m doing now?“- you are asking this as if you are able to not focus on any one of your worries.. as if you can decide to change your focus and.. be able to do so.

Wait, … maybe I am wrong: are you ABLE to shift your focus away from a worry (for longer than a moment here or there)?

“‘She probably thinks you are cute‘ = But there’s nothing cute about me. Like there’s none. If she said I look cute, I won’t believe it“- I have an image in my mind: Eric on a stage surrounded by an audience of 3,000 people, and they are all cheering: ERIC IS CUTE!     ERIC IS CUTE!    But Eric hears a louder voice in his own brain that screams: Eric is NOT cute! Eric is NOT cute!

“The possible answer for me is that I look average“- if she tell you that you are cute (or something positive like that) and you feel very uncomfortable hearing it, you can ask her: can you say average, instead of cute? And I bet she will agree and tell you that you look average… keeping the word cute to herself.

“Idk how she can convince me, if she really genuinely thinks that I look good/cute… Her eyes look genuinely interested on what we’re talking about. When I saw that eye expression of her, I felt like I’m dreaming“-

– if her genuine interest in you cannot convince you… what can (not an audience of 3 thousands people and not a fan group of 3 millions people, if you were a celebrity).. what can possibly convince you?

“Also, every time I pick her up, I always feel anxious if her parents told me to come inside…  because they could see my weaknesses…  I also need to take off my shoes, exposing one of my ultimate weakness. But sooner or later, I’ll have to come inside her house, if we decide to have a relationship…  I hope they are not judgmental“- it will take courage for you to take your shoes and enter their home. When that happens, keep your posture straight, head held high, walk confidently and greet them in a humble, yet confident, friendly voice. Let’s say they think: Eric is not tall. But seeing how you walk and talk, they are likely to also think: Eric is so friendly and humble and confident.. just what we want for our daughters!

(Eric, please don’t argue with me about the above paragraph, it is very annoying when you argue against my good points)

“Cause till this 5th date, I only saw her mother once when I was picking her up. Her mother was gardening their plants, so I greeted her from inside my car, and waved her goodbye“- good thing!

anita