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How can i get rid of this overthinking and insecurity?

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  • #409855
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear anita,

    from your descriptions of her, she is indeed a gem!

    = yes, that’s why i cant bear it if she decides to leave or detach from me…..

     

    this makes you a gem in a woman’s eyes… I can imagine a young woman will be very interested in a man who thinks she is a gem and who will do anything to make her happy.

    = i’ve done this with my previous crushes, but they still leave me…. I did my best at that time, but it doesnt make them stay….

     

     

    not at this point, you are doing fine!

    = so right now, i shouldnt be focusing on “what if the relationship gets bored”? Just focus on what im doing now?

     


    the girl you are dating disagrees. There is a saying: beauty is in the eyes of the
     beholder, meaning that any judgment of beauty is subjective. You think that your face looks hideous, your sister thinks so.. this girl doesn’t. She probably thinks you are cute.

    = But there’s nothing cute about me…. Like there’s none….

    If she said i look cute, i wont believe it…. The possible answer for me is that i look average…

    Idk how she can convince me, if she really genuinely thinks that i look good/cute

     

    don’t look in that mirror then, look in the mirror that her eyes provide: see how she sees you when she smiles at you, and at that time, when she wiped the sweat off your face.

    = Her eyes look genuinely interested on what we’re talking about….. when i saw that eye expression of her, i felt like im dreaming….

    #409857
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Also everytime i pick her up, i always feel anxious if her parents told me to come inside…. But till right now, her parents never told me to come inside….  This is because they could saw my weaknesses…. And i’m not experienced in talking with parents…. I also need to take off my shoes, exposing one of my ultimate weakness…

    But sooner or later i’ll have to come inside her house, if we decide to have a relationship… and i’ll have to get to know her parents, sister, and brother…. I hope they are not judgmental

     

     

    Cause till this 5th date, i only saw her mother once when i was picking her up….  Her mother is gardening their plants… so i greet her from inside my car, and wave her goodbye….

    #409859
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I will reply to you in the morning, Eric, in about 10-11 hours from now.

    anita

    #409882
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eric:

    “‘she is indeed a gem‘= yes, that’s why I can’t bear it if she decided to leave or detach from me“- is the solution to pursue a non-gem, perhaps an angry young woman who will criticize you and insult you.. so that you will be able to bear it if she decides to leave you-

    Or is it better that you bear the thought (that she will leave you) and hope for the best?

    ‘I can imagine a young woman will be interested in a man who thinks she is a gem and who will do anything to make her happy‘= I’ve done this with my previous crushes, but they still leave me. I did my best at that time, but it doesn’t make them stay“- well, you didn’t go on dates with the other crushes, it’s a big difference! But you are right: there is no guarantee that she will stay with you, that’s why you have to be able to bear the thought that she may not.

    “‘..you are doing fine!‘ = so right now, I shouldn’t be focusing on ‘what if the relationship gets bored’? Just focus on what I’m doing now?“- you are asking this as if you are able to not focus on any one of your worries.. as if you can decide to change your focus and.. be able to do so.

    Wait, … maybe I am wrong: are you ABLE to shift your focus away from a worry (for longer than a moment here or there)?

    She probably thinks you are cute‘ = But there’s nothing cute about me. Like there’s none. If she said I look cute, I won’t believe it“- I have an image in my mind: Eric on a stage surrounded by an audience of 3,000 people, and they are all cheering: ERIC IS CUTE!     ERIC IS CUTE!    But Eric hears a louder voice in his own brain that screams: Eric is NOT cute! Eric is NOT cute!

    The possible answer for me is that I look average“- if she tell you that you are cute (or something positive like that) and you feel very uncomfortable hearing it, you can ask her: can you say average, instead of cute? And I bet she will agree and tell you that you look average… keeping the word cute to herself.

    Idk how she can convince me, if she really genuinely thinks that I look good/cute… Her eyes look genuinely interested on what we’re talking about. When I saw that eye expression of her, I felt like I’m dreaming“-

    – if her genuine interest in you cannot convince you… what can (not an audience of 3 thousands people and not a fan group of 3 millions people, if you were a celebrity).. what can possibly convince you?

    Also, every time I pick her up, I always feel anxious if her parents told me to come inside…  because they could see my weaknesses…  I also need to take off my shoes, exposing one of my ultimate weakness. But sooner or later, I’ll have to come inside her house, if we decide to have a relationship…  I hope they are not judgmental“- it will take courage for you to take your shoes and enter their home. When that happens, keep your posture straight, head held high, walk confidently and greet them in a humble, yet confident, friendly voice. Let’s say they think: Eric is not tall. But seeing how you walk and talk, they are likely to also think: Eric is so friendly and humble and confident.. just what we want for our daughters!

    (Eric, please don’t argue with me about the above paragraph, it is very annoying when you argue against my good points)

    Cause till this 5th date, I only saw her mother once when I was picking her up. Her mother was gardening their plants, so I greeted her from inside my car, and waved her goodbye“- good thing!

    anita

    #410097
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear anita,

    So yesterday i just finished my 7th date with that girl…. On that that i told her almost everything, because i plan to confess to her officially on the 8th date….
    On this 7th date i told her about my small family and how my family tree’s work (but i didnt tell her about how my father isnt in a good relationship with his siblings), and i also told her about my previous ex-crushes, but i havent told her about my insecurities and about my job….

    But there is one thing that disappoints me, like when i told her about that crush (that i have a crush on for many years, but we never go out and she confessed to me that time)… i told her that i didnt like her anymore and wont go back to her…. But then she told me, “who knows? Maybe fate could brought you guys together”…. Like how can she said that…. It feels like she believe that i could be with her again… and also making me assume that she believe she can go back to her previous ex-crushes in the future, because in the past it’s due to she’s not ready…… this is making me hesitate, because i plan to confess to her officially on the 8th date….

    We talk about lots of things… like i even told her that she’s my first date, and how im so inexperienced in dating, and she laughs and told me its fine, she’s also never been in a relationship and she prefer to be with an inexperienced guy (just like you anita, that u said if u were in her position you’d prefer an inexperienced guy)), because she said an experienced guy would’ve done a lot of “things” with her ex….

    She then asked me, if there’s any criteria that my parents wants… then i said, they’re fine as long as that person is compatible with me…. She told me that she cant cook yet… and i said its fine….. She also told me, that she showed a pic of us together to her mom… and her mom said i look white…. (Well yes i look whiter than most normal people)…. And that girl said to her mom jokingly “yes mom, he’s whiter than me”…. Then i felt insecure and said to her… well tbh i dont want to be this white, and she said no its fine, if i could i wanna be as white as you…..

    She also told me that she plans to invite me to her family dinner whether we’re officially in a relationship or not…. She plans to invite me on chinese new year eve, a day before chinese new year (its next year on 2023)…

     

    ————————————————————————-

     

     

    is the solution to pursue a non-gem, perhaps an angry young woman who will criticize you and insult you.. so that you will be able to bear it if she decides to leave you-

    Or is it better that you bear the thought (that she will leave you) and hope for the best?

     

    well, you didn’t go on dates with the other crushes, it’s a big difference! But you are right: there is no guarantee that she will stay with you, that’s why you have to be able to bear the thought that she may not.

    = I wouldnt want to be with a girl who’ll criticize and insult me…. I’d prefer to hope for the best…. And i hope everything will go well and if there’s a conflict, we can solve it together…. Because i dont wanna chase other girls anymore (it’s tiring) if i’m already so compatible with this one…. I hope she also wont give up on the relationship so easily if there’s a problem or conflict… like i want both of us to keep working together and keep this relationship going happily…..

     

     

    Eric, please don’t argue with me about the above paragraph, it is very annoying when you argue against my good points)

    = Yeah i wont, but i guess i have to still bear the pain because it’d be my first time meeting them, and if the dinner is in her house then i’ll be barefooted… and i’ll have to talk confidently when my insecurity is exposed….

    I hope the first time meeting her parents wont be in her house, if it’s in a restaurant then i’d be able to wear “tall shoes” and be more confident in the first meeting….

    Her elder sister and her boyfriend (they plan to get married soon) will also be present there…. I hope i can connect with them well too…

    And with her younger brother who’s still in high school as well…..

    I also plan to have my body stand up straight, because i have a hunchback… so its hard for me to stand up straight….

     

     

    you are asking this as if you are able to not focus on any one of your worries.. as if you can decide to change your focus and.. be able to do so.

    Wait, … maybe I am wrong: are you ABLE to shift your focus away from a worry (for longer than a moment here or there)?

    = No what i meant is that i should just focus on chasing her “now” rather than worry what could happen in the future between me and her, because i cant predict the future….

     

    if she tell you that you are cute (or something positive like that) and you feel very uncomfortable hearing it, you can ask her: can you say average, instead of cute? And I bet she will agree and tell you that you look average… keeping the word cute to herself.

    = yes i think i’d prefer she said average, because if she said cute… i wouldnt believe it either…. And it’d overthink things….

    #410098
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eric:

    I will read and reply in the morning (in about 11 hours from now).

    anita

    #410101
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I’m only worried if she wants to have a relationship with me because she wanna see how the relationship will work out, whereas me…. I already think of her future with me…. Cause i dont wanna chase another girl anymore….

    Also on the 7 th date i also told her lots of things, even my routine… and also that i have little friends and seldom go out of house….

     

    I hope everything goes well when i plan to confess to her later on….

    #410102
    Anonymous
    Inactive

     

    Also on the 7th date she also initiated jokingly that she’d like to spoon feed me and she did, i also spoon feed her that time (my first time experience)….

     

    She also told me that before our first date, she’s also confused on what she should wear and she asked her friend that time…. And her friend wishes her good luck that time…. Just like how i’m worried on her first date with her that time, before the date i asked my friend on what i should wear, what should i talk about on that date…..

    When she told me she’s confused on what she should wear on the first date… i laughed together with her….

     

     

    #410130
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eric:

    Congratulations on your 7th date!

    On this 7th date I told her about my small family and how my family tree’s works (but I didn’t tell her about how my father isn’t in a good relationship with his siblings), and I also told her about my previous ex-crushes, but I haven’t told her about my insecurities and about my job“- good job, Eric! Like I said earlier, better (true for any person who is dating) that you share a bit at a time, not all at once. This way she gets the opportunity to absorb information before you give her more information than she can handle. It is similar to watering a plant: if you give it too much water all at once, it gets flooded.

    But there is one thing that disappoints me, like when I told her about that crush.. I told her that I didn’t like her anymore and won’t go back to her. But then she told me, ‘who knows? Maybe fate could brought you guys together“- when I read her response (the italicized) and before I read your interpretation of her response, I thought to myself that she was worried that you will get back together with your old crush and not want her (the new crush) anymore!

    Then I read your interpretation: “Like how can she said that….  she believes she can go back to her previous ex-crushes in the future“- your interpretation is different from mine. I think that her intent was not to say that she may go back to an old crush of hers, but to express her anxiety about you going back to an old crush of yours!

    We talk about lots of things, like I even told her that she’s my first date, and how I’m so inexperienced in dating, and she laughed and told me it’s fine, she’s also never been in a relationship and she prefers to be with an inexperienced guy (just like you anita… said, if u were in her position, you’d prefer an inexperienced guy), because she said an experienced guy would’ve done a lot of ‘things’ with her”– I guess that I am better at understanding her intents and motivations because I used to be a girl her age.

    She then asked me, if there’s any criteria that my parents want… She told me that she can’t cook yet“- just like you are afraid that her parents will not approve of you… she is afraid that your parents will not approve of her.

    She also told me, that she showed a pic of us together to her mom, and her mom said I look white… And that girl said to her mom jokingly ‘yes mom, he’s whiter than me“- reads like she felt insecure about not being as white as you. Maybe she is anxious about your parents not approving of her for this reason (and for not knowing how to cook yet)

    Then I felt insecure and said to her: well tbh, I don’t want to be this white, and she said no it’s fine, if I could, I wanna be as white as you“- she felt insecure (about not being as white as you), then you felt insecure (about being whiter), and she tried to make you feel better by telling you what she truly feels.

    * It is sad that many people feel inferior to others because of their skin color.  Skin color (or hair color and texture, and/ or facial and other bodily features) do not make people inferior or superior to others!

    She also told me that she plans to invite me to her family dinner whether we’re officially in a relationship or not. She plans to invite me on Chinese New Year eve, a day before Chinese new year (its next year on 2023)“- she likes you and she is serious about you!

    “= I wouldnt want to be with a girl who’ll criticize and insult me. I’d prefer to hope for the best. And I hope everything will go well, and if there’s a conflict, we can solve it together. Because I don’t wanna chase other girls anymore (it’s tiring), if I’m already so compatible with this one“- it looks like a terrific compatibility to me!

    You mentioned earlier that you read in surveys on the internet that a man should not get married to the first girl he dates and that it is better for a man to get married at 30. I believe that it is a bad idea to make important life decisions based on strict guidelines that you read  about in surveys, and instead: consider the surveys but make decisions that fit your individual personality and mind. If I was you, from what you shared so far, I would hope to marry this girl sometime in 2013, and be a good husband to her (don’t annoy her with obsessions and worries and such!)

    I hope she also won’t give up on the relationship so easily if there’s a problem or conflict, like I want both of us to keep working together and keep this relationship going happily“- reads good to me! I think that she likes you, that she is reasonable and kind,  and that she is motivated to be with you.

    = Yeah I won’t (argue with me), but I guess I have to still bear the pain because it’d be my first time meeting them, and if the dinner is in her house, then I’ll be barefoot, and I’ll have to talk confidently when my insecurity is exposed“- thank you for not arguing with me. About your height… I don’t want to scratch that itch.. (and don’t make me regret it!!!) , so here it goes:  5’5” is not that short. The way you talk about your height it sounds like you are 5’2”.

    I hope the first time meeting her parents won’t be in her house, if it’s in a restaurant then I’d be able to wear ‘tall shoes’ and be more confident in the first meeting“- it’s a good idea then, to meet first in a restaurant: excellent idea, Erc!

    Her elder sister and her boyfriend (they plan to get married soon) will also be present there. I hope I can connect with them well too. And with her younger brother who’s still in high school as well“- be nice and kind (and confident) to them all; most people connect with  nice and kind people.

    I also plan to have my body stand up straight, because I have a hunchback, so it’s hard for me to stand up straight“- certain stretches will help you stand up straighter, yoga stretches.

    What I meant is that I should just focus on chasing her ‘now’ rather than worry what could happen in the future between me and her, because I can’t predict the future“- excellent, I agree!

    = yes I think I’d prefer she said average, because if she said cute, I wouldn’t believe it either. And it’d overthink things“- I am sure that she will be very willing to accommodate you and use the word average instead of cute (or handsome, whatever positive word she would use to describe the way you look in her eyes)

    I’m only worried… “- you worry too much. I wish you stopped worrying so much!

    Also on the 7th date she also initiated jokingly that she’d like to spoon feed me and she did, I also spoon feed her that time (my first time experience)“- she likes you… a lot. I bet it felt good.

    She also told me that before our first date, she’s also confused on what she should wear and she asked her friend…. Just like how I’m worried on her first date with her that time, before the date I asked my friend on what I should wear, what should I talk about on that date. When she told me she’s confused on what she should wear on the first date, I laughed together with her“- this reads so good to me: the two of you being very compatible (but please do not expect perfect compatibility because there is no such thing)!

    You are doing well, Eric. Again, if I may say so: I am proud of you!

    anita

    #410162
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * edit:  “I would hope to marry this girl sometime in 2023”

    #410171
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear anita,

    Thank you for your detailed opinion….

     

    So this sunday i’m planning to have our 8th date, but i still hesitate whether i should confess or not…. Because if i wanna confess, i’d like to plan a little surprise for her…. But i’m still not sure, like i keep thinking we’ve been close for 2.5 months… is it enough? Am i being to quick on confessing? Will it be a wrong move?

    It’s always that way, when i meet her in person and we talk deeply…. I always feel like i wanna confess…. But because we mostly meet on weekend, so weekdays we dont meet…. My mind keep telling me to just postpone it, like because if i confess… everything will become more serious….. But no matter i confess or not, she’s planning to introduce me to her parents… but it’s next year…..

    And also i’m worried that if i’m in a relationship… there’s a chance i could gain an “ex-girlfriend”…..

    One of the reasons why she felt safe going out with me for the first time is because i told her that time that i’ve never been in a relationship…. So there’s no ex-girlfriend…

     

    But i always felt that i’m so grateful to have met her, and i wanna be in a relationship with her…

    I dont know if i keep postponing in confessing to her will change anything……

     

     

    —————————————————————————

    when I read her response (the italicized) and before I read your interpretation of her response, I thought to myself that she was worried that you will get back together with your old crush and not want her (the new crush) anymore!

    your interpretation is different from mine. I think that her intent was not to say that she may go back to an old crush of hers, but to express her anxiety about you going back to an old crush of yours!

    = If she feels anxiety about me going back to my ex-crush, then why would she use those kind of words? It’s like she’s supporting the idea of going back to ex-crushes… that’s what makes me overthink that she’d like to go back to her old crush…

     

     

    thank you for not arguing with me. About your height… I don’t want to scratch that itch.. (and don’t make me regret it!!!) , so here it goes:  5’5” is not that short. The way you talk about your height it sounds like you are 5’2”.

    = thank you for trying to reassure me….. Maybe it’s because her sister is the same height as me (or maybe slightly taller), and her younger brother is definitely taller than me….. i just hope they wont give me an “underestimate” first impression due to my height….. Luckily this girl is shorter than me….. but she used to told me how her younger brother make fun of her height…..

     

    But i also hate myself because i used to hate my height so much, that i dont care about my body… and resulting in me having a bone problem which is scapular winging on the right side of my back and a hunchback….. and now i’m trying to get rid of it….

     

     

    it’s a good idea then, to meet first in a restaurant: excellent idea, Erc!

    = But before i meet her parents, i plan to have her meet my parents first…..

     

     

    this reads so good to me: the two of you being very compatible (but please do not expect perfect compatibility because there is no such thing)!

    = yeah we’ve talked about this, like we discussed that if we have a quarrel… we should communicate it, and not giving hasty decisions (like breaking up immediately, etc)… she told me that to maintain a relationship, both must communicate and work together… and i agree with that….

    But she also told me that she’s worried that her personality might change if she’s in a relationship later on…. Because she’s never been in a relationship…. She’s worried that she might get angry easily, being more possessive and etc…..

    And also i have a temperament personality when i get pressured, i also easily get annoyed…. If i get annoyed.. i dont feel like talking to that person….

     

     

    You mentioned earlier that you read in surveys on the internet that a man should not get married to the first girl he dates and that it is better for a man to get married at 30. I believe that it is a bad idea to make important life decisions based on strict guidelines that you read  about in surveys, and instead: consider the surveys but make decisions that fit your individual personality and mind. If I was you, from what you shared so far, I would hope to marry this girl sometime in 2013, and be a good husband to her (don’t annoy her with obsessions and worries and such!)

    = i think i have a personality that i fear mistakes… that’s why i read surveys to get the best possible outcome… and that’s also why i’m so hard on myself if i made mistakes…..

    But i dont plan to get married that soon, i feel like it’s still too early for me…. I just wanna be in a relationship works…..

    #410174
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    – This is a separate issue from above –

     

    Also do u think i should be worried that if i said too much to my ex-crush? As i used to like her so much, that i told her about my business…. Not how the business works….
    But about how my family owns a company with another family…lets say its “company A”…..

    Company A is quite influential in my city…..

    For example if my family decides to not own company A anymore…. And i’m not with that girl anymore… but what she knows is that my family owns that company…

    Should i be worried? Like other people could ask her,

    “do u have any ex-crush? Who is it?”

    She could be answering “that guy who owns company A”…..

    It might create a misunderstanding with people right?

     

    Not only my ex-crush, but also other people too…

    Like i couldnt be able to tell all the people who knows my family owns company A, that we dont own it anymore right?

     

    *i hope my explanation isnt confusing…..

    #410185
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Eric:

    You are welcome. “I still hesitate whether I should confess or not…. we’ve been close for 2.5 months, is it enough? Am I being too quick on confessing? Will it be a wrong move?… I don’t plan to get married that soon, I feel like it’s still too early for me“- what exactly do you mean by confessing: what  specifically will you say to her when you confess?

    I’m worried that if I’m in a relationship, there’s a chance I could gain an ‘ex-girlfriend’. One of the reasons why she felt safe going out with me for the first time is because I told her that time that I’ve never been in a relationship. So there’s no ex-girlfriend“- I think that what you mean by this is that if you marry her, you will never have an ex-girlfriend, and you want to have the experience of having an ex-girlfriend. Did I understand correctly?

    If she feels anxiety about me going back to my ex-crush, then why would she use those kind of words? It’s like she’s supporting the idea of going back to ex-crushes, that’s what makes me overthink that she’d like to go back to her old crush“- it reads to me that you are suspicious of her, suspicious that while she is dating you, she is planning on going  back to her old crush (based only on the one comment she made, which you shared about). Do I understand correctly? And if so, do you feel angry at her sometimes?

    She also told me that she’s worried that her personality might change if she’s in a relationship later on because she’s never been in a relationship. She’s worried that she might get angry easily, being more possessive and etc. And also I have a temperament personality when I get pressured, I also easily get annoyed. If I get annoyed, I don’t feel like talking to that person“- it’s a good thing that the two of you talked about the important topic of anger. Mismanaged anger destroys many relationships, so better be aware of it and work together to (1) decide what behaviors are acceptable and what behaviors are not acceptable to each one of you when it comes to anger, (2) communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully.

    I will wait for your answers to my questions (the questions in the first 3 paragraphs of this post) before I reply to the second of your two recent posts.

    anita

    #410197
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Dear anita,

     

    what  specifically will you say to her when you confess?

    = im planning to surprise her with a flower and confess to her in the car, where we mostly have our deep conversation….

    I’d like to express my feelings that im grateful that i’ve met her and day by day i keep missing her whenever i dont meet her… and i’d like to increase our relationship to the next step….

     

    I think that what you mean by this is that if you marry her, you will never have an ex-girlfriend, and you want to have the experience of having an ex-girlfriend. Did I understand correctly?

    = No, what i meant is that i dont want to have an ex-girlfriend…. And if im in a relationship with her…. If something goes wrong and both decides to separate…. I might have an ex….. i dont want it…… That’s why i need to be sure of this relationship with her…..

     

     

    it reads to me that you are suspicious of her, suspicious that while she is dating you, she is planning on going  back to her old crush (based only on the one comment she made, which you shared about). Do I understand correctly? And if so, do you feel angry at her sometimes?

    = Yes, and i’d feel disappointed if i think about it….. i’m also worried that she wants to be in a relationship with me only because she’s now “ready to try” and not because she genuinely think of a future with me….

     

     

    —————————————————————————

     

    I’d also like to write about my yesterday’s call with her…..

    Idk why but i feel disappointed when its only a few days before i confess…..

    She keeps asking me how do i act if im angry? Also what if in the future both of us could be in LDR? Like anything could happen… as she’ve seen many couples in a relationship for many years but in the end, fate says otherwise and they separated…. And end up marrying another person…..

    Also because her sister are now in a relationship with her boyfriend, that her sister cried at the airport everytime her boyfriend had to go back….

    She also told me that both of us are inexperienced and she doesnt know how will her personality be if she’s in a relationship later on…… She also asked me if i saw her bad attitude, will i leave her?

    She also asked will we stay friends if we decide to break up in a relationship?

    Will i leave her if she becomes fat later on? Because there are guys who leave their girlfriend when their appearance fades away….

    Why is she being so pessimistic? It ruins my happy mood when its only a few days before i confess to her…..

    Why cant we just discuss everything happily…..

    She also told me that most of the time she drives her car and at class in her uni, she’d think of me…. Like she misses me…. She never misses someone like this before…..

    She also told me she’s happy that she met me this year… like she’s grateful… and tbh when she said that i suddenly shed tears (but she didnt knew about it)…. Like someone really said that about me? Grateful meeting me? It’s unbelievable….

     

    And i also told her, that i’ll be on holiday with my family on christmas eve and i want to meet her before i leave my city… she told me “yes, we definitely have to meet”….
    I told her that i might shed tears later on (because im still in the mood, that she told me she’s grateful)… then she laughed and said pls dont cry, i might feel sad too later on…..

    like how can she laugh?
    I thought i can express my emotion totally to her, because i easily get emotional if i care deeply about that person…… Just like how i cried for my ex-crush (although right now i regret crying for her)

     

    She also told me she doesnt know what to do if she’s in a relationship later on, should she post it on social media? But she’s not sure whether she should tell about her relationship publicly…..

     

    I thought i can prepare my confession calmly, but everything she said in the call yesterday… makes me down….
    Because on every date i keep trying to make her feel special, to make her not bored being with me, giving her little surprises…. But then she’s still pessimistic…

    #410198
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Is relationships really this hard?

    Today i feel so down, sad and i could burst our my tears anytime….
    I already prepared the surprise for her but now i feel this way due to yesterday’s call….

    But i’m not a person who gives up easily, especially on someone that i really care about….

    She told me the she’s not a person who tends to overthink, but i do…. Each every word she said could affect me…..

    i also missed her so bad although we are going to meet in 3 days…..

     

    *i apologize if i was writing too much….

    *if there’s an obsession, you can just ignore it…

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