Dear Anita

you didnt disappointed me  in understanding my situations, i hope i didnt neither . but if  that happens we can discuss it obviously .

about my sister , that didnt happened in one night , i mean the change of heart . well at the beginning i was much younger and impressionable and i loved her with my whole heart , she was and still is living in another country , so i believe the distance made her more likable and she gave  me a lot of souvenir when she came home  but i was a teenager i realized she saw me as a inferior person not because i was much younger  but she was acting like i was stupid specially in front her friends , gradually i realized she was antisocial and definitely anti family , she always wanted to bring all of us down by her behavior , she chose a guy whom she knew would never accept him just to somehow damaging my parents pride and now that i looked back she was just using him for antagonizing her family , remember in that time i believed my parents are perfect . anyway my parents approaches  towards her and what they said to her and about her kind of changed my mind about her but the last straw was when my mom died , she couldnt  care less about it , she was basically enjoying the freedom after her death , even before that , although she knew my mom was in critical condition she didnt call home , till one week after her death i called her and told her where the hell she was ?she came home almost 4 weeks after and her attitude was as i said careless and cold , she didnt even once asked anything from me who was supposedly her beloved sister about how i feel and how i handled it , i know her relationship with my mom was complicated but SHE WAS DEAD and that didnt make our pain any easier , you cant just brush if off and say never mind she wasnt a good mom actually i feel not having a good relationship with a deceased parent makes the grief harder .she hurt me by leaving me alone and going out with her friends , she was talking about my dad should remarry  very soon , in general very hurtful behavior and she told my father i wouldn't support her (me)in anyway at all , because my dad was hoping to send me to place my sisters was living for studying i believe she was thinking after my mom , i would be dependent on her and she was depriving me of what i expected on purpose , like a ego boost for her . alot of stuff happened between my dad and her after while (not related to me ) but their relationship was also severed completely , i only can say i am lucky that she doesnt live near me . im curious about relationship with your sister ?hopefully it`s not toxic , we can talk about it if you like .

regarding my aunt , i agree with you , she is not very sharp in making wise decisions , i mean in her own life and her family . the pretention and being showy whether it was about parenting to me nice or being wealthy  was always her biggest goal . i believe she was actively wanted to drag me down , not by herself but with help of her children , im not sure her match making decision was planned and malicious , but she was very persistent with putting me down verbally , thats why i believe some animosity is present . not just toward me but my whole family , but they werent smart enough to conceal themselves as good people , maybe its helpful for other people to see through them . but it`s hurtful, they always use very direct and sharp words and they seem to be proud of it , they are bullies , SIMPLE. what do you think about having no contact with them ?

i hope you had a good sleep and good day

farnaz