dear Anita

thank you i had a very busy day , packing . i`m not a fan , i hope you had a good day too .

yes my sister hates my mom so deeply that she is willing to ruin her life just to take revenge from her , i should use it in past tense but the first part is currently true , although i can understand her to some degree , i cant understand her reactions completely . i m still judging her because i cant be partial , i wouldnt react to my moms abuse in that way but i wasnt in her place , she suffered much more as the oldest child , she was never accepted as she was and maybe me idolizing her , hurt her more than she was showing .

about my sister  in us vs her…?”as you said it is not an easy topic to talk about .i dont believe i would see her an enemy against all of us , if she wasnt so cruel towards everyone in her family , my dad actually helped her to study abroad because he knew the fight between her and my mom wouldnt stop and she wanted to diffuse the situation (maybe that made her feel abandoned) i dont know , she betrayed his trust too , she was hostile towards me , i was 12 years old when fights between her and my parents was the worst . she was jealous of me maybe because i don`t have that difficult of relationship with my mom , because everything was changed when we knew she was gonna die from cancer , my mom was too sick to torture me as bad as she did my sister , i know that sounds awful .

my sister was always the black sheep of the family even after my moms death , my father also showed her , he didnt trust her. AND SHE IS NOT

i actually once told my mom directly that i wouldnt let her to bring me down like my sister . i dont remember the context , but she was shocked to hear that . she was actually speechless but then she brushed it off .

regarding your sister if that works for you , congratulations . your sister being different from you and handling the damage differently helps me to make my point , you reacted differently to the abuse you both endured just as me and my siblings .

i hope we can continue the discussion or maybe change it to a lighter topic ?

farnaz