Re-posted:

Dear Eric:

“She also told me that most of the time she drives her car, and at class in her uni, she’d think of me. Like she misses me. She never misses someone like this before. She also told me she’s happy that she met me this year, like she’s grateful, and tbh, when she said that, I suddenly shed tears (but she didn’t know about it).  Like someone really said that about me? Grateful meeting me? It’s unbelievable“-

– Believe it, Eric, believe the believable! This is your proof. It is possible to think of you in positive ways,

to miss you, to miss you more than anyone…

to be grateful to have met you… it is all true, it is all reality!

“She keeps asking me how do I act if I’m angry?“- she is right to be concern about angry behaviors. Actually, I am concerned about your anger toward her: a few days ago, you misinterpreted a few words she said to mean that she was thinking about going back to an old crush of hers, and you were angry at her. What if you continue to misinterpret what she says and get angry at her and then… mistreat her with undeserved, misplaced anger? I don’t want her to be mistreated.

I wrote to you yesterday: “it reads to me that you are suspicious of her, suspicious that while she is dating you, she is planning on going  back to her old crush… do you feel angry at her sometimes?“, and you answered: “Yes“. I am worried, Eric.

“She also asked me if I saw her bad attitude, will I leave her?“- I wonder what she meant by bad attitude. Did you ask her? If you didn’t, it’s probably a good idea to ask.

“She also asked… Will I leave her if she becomes fat later on? … Why is she being so pessimistic? It ruins my happy mood“- she is being pessimistic for the same reason you are pessimistic: like you, she is insecure and feels rejectable. You worry about your height; she worries about her weight.

Did you feel any empathy for her since the last phone conversation (for feeling insecure), or did you only feel disappointed and angry at her ( for not rewarding your dating efforts by saying what you want her to say, and saying it happily: “I feel disappointed… It ruins my happy mood … Why can’t we just discuss everything happily…on every date I keep trying to make her feel special, to make her not bored being with me, giving her little surprises, But then she’s still pessimistic“)?

“I told her that I might shed tears later on… then she laughed and said pls don’t cry, I might feel sad too later on,  like how can she laugh? I thought I can express my emotion totally to her…”- she didn’t laugh at you, she probably laughed because she felt awkward. You misinterpreted her laugh.

You wrote toward the end of your first post yesterday: “I thought I can prepare my confession calmly, but everything she said in the call yesterday makes me down“-

– “everything she said”: including her saying that she misses you and feels grateful to have met you?

anita